So even though New Years isn't for a couple months, I'm starting my resolution now.
Today in church we talked about ways we can show our love for God. Among many good things that we discussed, someone mentioned that "love" is actually spelled T-I-M-E. This is true of all our relationships. If we want to show our family that we love them we spend time with them. We eat dinner together, or go visit each other. We go to each other's games or performances, or we just sit and talk to each other. This concept is a little harder when it comes to God - our most important relationship of all. We can't see Him or pick up a telephone and call Him. We can't go visit His house when we miss Him, or write a note on His facebook wall. That makes it really hard to show our love to Him, but the principles of how to show love are the same.
So I thought a lot about how I spend my time. I go to school, I work out, I do homework, I clean the house, I cook the food, I do the shopping and the laundry, the list seems like it is never-ending. It's easy to rationalize that I just don't have time to spend on doing things for God. I'm just way too busy.
But... I always seem to have time to browse Facebook, or watch funny youtube videos, or laugh at hilarious photobombs, or play Candy Crush Saga...so do I really not have the time for God, or do I just not want to spend my time with him?
If my friends invite Ben and I over for dinner and games, I make time for them, because I want to be with them. They are worth my time. If my mom calls me when I'm doing homework, I'll answer and chat for a good hour, because I want to talk to her. If my husband says "let's take a break from cleaning the house and have some hot chocolate", I'll do it in a heartbeat, because I want to take that time to connect with him. Is it the same with my relationship with God?
When He urges me to take a break from homework and go visit the neighbor next door because she's sick, I'm sad to say that I don't...because I don't want to do it. When He wants to talk to me by helping me find something inspirational in my scriptures, I usually just breeze through them because I want to hurry up and get done so that I can move on to something else, like that funny video my friend showed me, or Facebook. The truth is, I rationalize that the time I spend on doing things for God isn't as important, because I don't want to do them. I'm ashamed of feeling that way, so I'm resolving to change that.
I have realized that when I spend my time goofing around (facebooking, watching youtube videos, playing games on my phone, etc...) I feel completely empty and unaccomplished afterwards. All I've done is waste a few minutes (which turn into hours) that I'll never get back again, and on what? Pressing buttons on a keyboard or a touchscreen? What value does that hold in comparison to my relationships or my goals for who I want to become? Instead of spending my time doing things of zero importance, I want to do something better with my time.
I went through and deleted all my games off my computer, phone, and facebook today. Why? Because I spend so much time on them that it distracts me from becoming what I want to be. I'm also making rules for myself as to how much time I spend on the internet everyday, because the majority of the things I do on it really aren't important. They are fun, but they aren't helping me be the person I actually want to be.
I'm in the process of making a list of things I want to accomplish. There is no expiration date on it. It includes things like learning new talents, becoming more familiar with the word of God, developing relationships with friends and family, and serving others. My resolution is to use the time that I normally spend on the computer/phone to work on the things on my list. I won't post my list here, because it's deeply personal and will change as I learn new things. It includes what kind of mother I want to be, what kind of example I want to be for others, what I want people to associate with me when they think of me and so forth. I think this list will be never ending, which is awesome, because that means I will always be getting better at things that really matter.
Obviously it's going to be hard, but I'm resolved. God put me on this earth to make something of myself. By resolving to spend my time becoming the greatest I can be, I am showing my love to Him. My greatest gift to Him is what I make of myself. There are plenty of things that can distract me from that, but if I put those distractions as far from me as possible, I will be able to focus on my goals. I want to spend my time showing God that I love Him by being the best wife and (one day) mother that I can to my family. I want to show Him that I love Him by serving others and spending time with them. I want to develop the talents He gave me so that I can use them to bless the lives of others. This is my resolution.
There are lots of things out there that can distract us - I've named only a few here (the ones that I struggle with), but others include pinterest, netflix, watching T.V., x-box, wii, keeping tabs on celebrities, etc... I encourage anyone reading this to stop and think about how you use your time. What are you becoming through the use of your time? Is it what you want to be? If not, make adjustments. Your time is so valuable, don't waste it on things that don't matter in the end! God will help you. He wants you to be the very best you can be.