Then Luke was born and I learned about a whole other side to being the man of the family: being a dad. Being a husband is so much different than being a dad, and in some instances it's even easier. All of a sudden the sleep in my life disappeared, I got replaced as the one who spends the most time with Gauchay, and I feel like my body is training new muscles involved in bouncing, carrying, and rocking babies. While before I was partnered with a beautiful, talented woman, I now am in charge of a beautiful, uncoordinated, completely helpless baby.
And so I've been trying to figure things out. I've been trying to figure out what matters most and where I find true happiness in my life. Even though life is getting more difficult, I'm finding it more and more fulfilling every day I look into the face of my son.
So what is the key? I think there are many keys to having a happy home and especially a happy family. Something that is of supreme importance, something that if it isn't present in a family, the family won't survive, something that will bring your family closer to God than almost anything else, is serving each other and sacrificing for each other.
Men, how much do you sacrifice for your wives? Is it really a sacrifice to help her and watch over her, especially when she's a beautiful woman that consented to live with you? No, not really. At least not most of the time.
Women, how much do you sacrifice for your husbands? He seems so strong and self-confident, you may feel like there's nothing you can do to help him or give him comfort.
And parents, how much do you really sacrifice for your kids? How much love and care do you show them, love and care that doesn't come from rote parental duties and tasks, but love and care that comes from your heart and goes above and beyond what a "normal" parent does?
I humbly submit the idea that many of us are truly not sacrificing as much as we think we are for our families. We are not serving them nearly as much as we need to. Sacrifice and service are an essential part of family life.
Gordon B. Hinckley, a former prophet of the LDS church, said this:
"Without sacrifice there is no true worship of God. … ‘The Father gave his Son, and the Son gave his life,’ and we do not worship unless we give—give of our substance, … our time, … strength, … talent, … faith, …[and] testimonies"
If we are not sacrificing for our families, then we are not teaching them to worship God. Sacrifice and service lie at the core of Christian belief. If we wish to teach our children correct principles, if we wish to teach them the gospel of Jesus Christ, we need to live it. We need to show in everything that we do that we are disciples of Christ. We need to be willing to set down our controller and go help our wife do the dishes. We need to be willing to set aside the computer and play on the floor with our son. We need to be willing to stay up all night to take care of a fussy baby, and not get mad at him. We need to be willing to give up what we think is vital to our existence in order to help someone else that is in need.
Ponder on the story of the young man who came to Christ and asked him what he needed to do to inherit eternal life:
Speaking of the commandments, the young man told Christ:
"All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?"
And this is the response that Christ gave him: "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven:and come and follow me."
"But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions."
We don't know any of the back story of this young man. Perhaps he was born to very poor parents. Perhaps at a young age he struck out on his own and worked hard for years to build up a sizable business. Perhaps he had given his all to create his small fortune. Maybe his wealth was the way he reminded himself that he could do anything. But then the Savior asked him to give it all up. Can you think of how hard that might have been for the young man?
But that is what is required of us. If we are willing to sacrifice anything for our families, for Christ, then we will be able to teach our children how to truly worship God, to echo the words of President Hinckley.
I'd like to end with one thought that President Hinckley also shared. I invite you to think of it and decide how you can apply it to everything you do in your families, as a child, as a parent, and as a spouse:
"It is not a sacrifice to live the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is never a sacrifice when you get back more than you give. It is an investment, … a greater investment than any.… Its dividends are eternal and everlasting."
I think it is the same for families. Can we really consider loving and serving our families a sacrifice, when in reality we get out more than we put in? Eternal life with our family is greater than any sacrifice we can make in this life.
I know that as we strive to give our all to live the gospel of Jesus Christ and to sacrifice for our family, we will truly be living as God would have us live, and even more importantly, we will be creating a foundation of Christlike love, service, and discipleship that our family will build upon for the rest of their lives.
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